Guess Who's Back, Back Again

Welcome back to my mind. To my safe place. To the place where I can get lost for hours on end in silence. My blog. More specifically, my writing. 

I’ve always had an affinity writing. As soon as I could form sentences with my tiny little pencil, I would take my trusty composition notebook to the top level of the playground and sketch out worlds to escape to, creating characters and giving them life. In jr high I found myself again, writing out my life in the form of a character I could observe, nurture, and color in with adjectives, emotions, and a storyline I could control. It’s my art. I’ve always thought my art or passion would be music, or acting, or fitness, or photography- all things I was drawn for at a young age and still have a love for now, but there’s something special about writing. I never run out of words. (as you've found out, this usually applies to talking too. Can I include yapping as a passion?)

Yes, I overthink it at times, but if I just let myself flow, the thoughts I pour onto the page delight me and seem to come from somewhere outside of me. I look back and say “I wrote this?” There’s nothing like the satisfaction of seeing my internal monologue detailed in black and white on a page because if you haven’t had the good fortune of really speaking with me on a deep level, I think I’m rather funny and really quite insightful. 

When I write, the most curious thing happens: I feel no need to be good. And I mean morally good. When I write, I’m allowed to be awful, or mean, or selfish, or moody, or melodramatic, or prideful, or greedy, or anything else I’m usually afraid of being. It feels more raw because I don’t have to face anyone while I say it. It’s just me, and the page. It’s satisfying and addicting and my endless journal entries in endless notebooks just goes to show that I can, and will write forever. 

So, here I am, sharing one of the deepest, and currently my favorite part about me: this new blog.

I’ve already uploaded all of the blog entries from my past website onto this new one so you’ll have lots to dig into (because if there’s one thing I love as much as writing, it’s reading, and I have a feeling you do too). I kept the imported blogs mostly as they were, editing for a bit of clarity and trimming down the parts I cringed at to the point where I felt they couldn’t be seen by the light of day. I will warn you, I do have the propensity for drama. My writing certainly did not, and does not, shy away from using detailed, emotion evoking, towers of words. For lack of a better term, I’m really dramatic when I write (which is why it’s so fun). That is your caution when diving into those, if I’m going through a rough time, oh baby you’re gonna know. 

But, I’m also excited to share more about my journey with social media and money and success. Reading through the blogs about my start in social media was the most beautiful and adorable thing. I did it!! I set the goal, I made it happen, and now I’m sitting in an egg chair on my lanai while a Sunday morning rainbow rolls down into the clouds and my Tik Tok has 270K more followers than it did when I wrote that first blog and my income is more than double what it was. How satisfying to past me, to know that she did it. And, now I get to be the “past self” setting more goals, asking for more growth, and doing the work to get there. 

Let’s get after it then. More growth, more beauty, more goals, more love, more expansion, more writing, more feeling like myself. 

Xoxo, Bethany